why am i so me...

why am i so mean to people. i think im a nice person but im really not. why am i so self deprecating i am who i am . so fuck it w/e. tra lala lala im happy. wait no im not why the fuck do i alwys do shit liek that. i cant actually remebr the last tiemi was myself. or mayb im alwyas me and i jsut dont know myself.screw it im just not gonna get involved anymore. im too emotional, and emotional people have to be smart cus u hafta know what to do with them. im not mature/smart enough to know yet. i guess all of thsi is my fault so dont feel sorry im jsut using this to outlet my angryness.im craz about her and i shouldnt have done anything about but i felt i had too, i was fucking wrong. i hate weh people feel bad. i would do anything to make sumone feel better, well not anything but a lot o thigns. this is just so new to me.